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G-Rilla …

The strategy and tactics of guerrilla warfare tend to focus around the use of a small, mobile force competing against a large, unwieldy one. The guerrilla focuses on organizing in small units, dependent on the support of the local population. Tactically, the guerrilla army attacks its enemy in small, repetitive attacks from the opponents center of gravity with a view to reducing casualties and becoming an intensive, repetitive strain on the enemies resources, forcing an over-eager response which will both anger their own supporters and increase support for the guerrilla, thus forcing the enemy to withdraw.

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This entry was written by Hoopenfaust, posted on May 29, 2009 at 4:05 am, filed under The New Face. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink and follow any comments with the RSS feed for this post.



Ghetto Golf…

“Well the world turns
and a hungry little boy with a runny nose
plays in the street as the cold wind blows
In the ghetto” – Elvis Presley

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I recently played a game on the city’s main municipal course, and let me tell you, it’s a ghetto course. When I use the term “ghetto” I mean ghetto. Typical of something run by government. When you drive pass the projects in your own city, you usually notice how shitty the dwellings look. Usually boxy looking brown brick houses with one small window and the front door always has battering ram marks because of the occupants choice of employment.

Well this golf course was just like that. The shell craters bunkers are half filled with sand, half filled with gravel. Nothing better than chipping a few rocks along with your ball. The best part is, no one removes these rocks off the greens. The ghetto breeds complacency. The grass around the cup is always half an inch longer than the rest of the green, making it look like Agent Orange is the preferred method of grass maintenance.

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Crack rock on the course...

Crack rock on the course...

Ghetto courses always attract the slow and course marshals are too drunk to notice the 5′somes of old ladies taking their sweet time. The backup at the tee boxes creates small pockets of angry shitty golfers who proceed to play holes where ever they want. This can make the game a little confusing because there’s always someone different in front of you and in back of you.

Another gift that comes with playing ghetto courses is the masses of well dressed, well equipped hackers. Those who pose. It’s amazing how much people spend on their equipment and clothes to create the illusion of professionalism. These fucks hacks always wait for the people to clear the green on a par 4 before teeing off. They then proceed to hit it 70 yards, 6 times before getting on the green. Fuck you look good hitting the ball 126 times. These hacks are usually the guys who tell everyone they hit in the 90′s. These are the guys the golf industry make their millions on. Ghetto rich. Drive a Porsche, but live at home.

Example: At the 13 hole a group of these guys decided to sneak up to the hole in front of us. We hadn’t seen them the whole round so I asked them “Where the fuck did you guys come from”? since I don’t take it very lightly when someone slows up my game. They responded with “I was going to ask you the same question”. The Jedi mind trick worked and I got confused for a second. Then I realized they weren’t smart enough to snake us and they were just playing the wrong hole. Dude… that’s why they number the holes. And of course both dudes power drove their balls (hack posers always use the biggest, baddest drivers like it’s an extension of their dicks) into the woods. We allowed them to proceed and followed them for two more holes. At the 16th hole they teed up and once again power drove onto the other fairway. Best part about it, they tee’d off the wrong way. How embarrassing. You have a set of Cobra’s, Nike everything, visor and GPS range finding system and you still can’t figure out which direction to hit the ball. Get the fuck off the course and stick to your driving ranges where I know you practice and practice your long fuckin’ drives so you can boast about your long fuckin’ drives.

Mr. Hooper...finding his balls

Mr. Hooper...finding his balls

This entry was written by Hoopenfaust, posted on May 27, 2009 at 4:15 am, filed under Ghetto Golf, Golf Etiquette. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink and follow any comments with the RSS feed for this post.



The Return…

With spurs, sword and swirls of white and crimson, the Knights Templar began a new priory in Ottawa this weekend. The Priory of Simon Peter is the third such group in Canada, and one of several hundred worldwide dedicated to upholding the chivalry of the centuries-old order.

The sunny May afternoon, the tuxedos and formal wear, even the bagpipe escort, gave the ceremony at the Canadian Forces Uplands chapel the air of a wedding rather than an ancient rite. The six men and four women joining the Sovereign Military Order of the Temple of Jerusalem took oaths to “fight from this day forward to be a defender of the kingdom of Christ.” Each came forward, knelt, and bowed slightly as a metre-long replica of a Templar sword alighted on the shoulders and head. “Arise, sir knight” said officiant Ronald Matthewman, Grand Prior of Canada.

A traditional red cross on a crimson ribbon was placed around each postulant’s neck, then a white, floor-length cape was draped across their shoulders. Another officiant held aloft a pair of silver spurs, tapped them twice, then bent down to place them (momentarily) on each postulant’s heels. The dames and knights all touched the hilt of the sword with the three central fingers of their right hand “as a sign of fidelity to the order.”

Edmund Griffiths, a decorated Second World War veteran, was elevated to lead the new group of about 30. The Priory of the Ascension of Our Lord in Windsor has 80 knights and dames, and Toronto’s Priory of St. James has about 50.

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These modern-day Templars emphasize they are not Freemasons, nor are they a secret society, although candidates, usually highly educated community leaders, must be invited to join. The modern Templars were revived in the 19th century in France; this organization was founded in the United States in the 1960s where the headquarters remain today. It makes no claims about descending from the original medieval knights. However, they do see themselves as upholders of the Templars’ medieval code of honour. Its website says:

“The Order, in an age of democratic materialism and secular humanism, … (believes it has) an obligation to participate in the coalescing and preservation of a constructive force similar to that which created knighthood and chivalry during the Middle Ages.”

The Knights Templar began in the 11th century as a unique order of high-born military monks commissioned to fight Holy Wars against the Muslims and protect pilgrims on their way to the Holy Land. But by the 14th century, people became disenchanted with the order and accused them of corruption and growing soft. The Pope disbanded the order and several of the leaders were burned at the stake for heresy.
Stolen from The Ottawa Citizen

This entry was written by Hoopenfaust, posted on May 26, 2009 at 4:01 am, filed under 33%, Knucklers. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink and follow any comments with the RSS feed for this post.



Screaming Eagles…

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“Due to the nature of our armament, and the tactics in which we shall perfect ourselves, we shall be called upon to carry out operations of far-reaching military importance and we shall habitually go into action when the need is immediate and extreme. Let me call your attention to the fact that our badge is the great American eagle. This is a fitting emblem for a division that will crush its enemies by falling upon them like a thunderbolt from the skies.” – General Order Number Five

This entry was written by Hoopenfaust, posted on May 24, 2009 at 7:57 pm, filed under Golf Etiquette. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink and follow any comments with the RSS feed for this post.



Skins Beat Down…

This entry was written by Hoopenfaust, posted on May 22, 2009 at 10:06 am, filed under Golf Etiquette. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink and follow any comments with the RSS feed for this post.



Site Seeing…

Analogue has released some screenshots of the new site in development. We’re stoked, they’re stoked… we all fall down.

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This entry was written by Hoopenfaust, posted on at 4:18 am, filed under Allies, Coming Soon, Go Back To Bed, No Golf. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink and follow any comments with the RSS feed for this post.



Razor…

The Complazor… Foie Gras is on the menu

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This entry was written by Hoopenfaust, posted on May 20, 2009 at 3:37 am, filed under Golf Etiquette. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink and follow any comments with the RSS feed for this post.



Company Benefits…

The benefits of owning a golfwear company…

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This entry was written by Hoopenfaust, posted on May 16, 2009 at 12:46 pm, filed under 33%, Golf Etiquette, No Golf, The New Face. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink and follow any comments with the RSS feed for this post.



First Round…

This entry was written by Hoopenfaust, posted on May 15, 2009 at 3:27 am, filed under Golf Etiquette, The New Face. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink and follow any comments with the RSS feed for this post.



Gambling…

Alcohol x Money x Golf = The way it should be…

This entry was written by Hoopenfaust, posted on May 14, 2009 at 4:11 am, filed under Go Back To Bed, Golf Etiquette. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink and follow any comments with the RSS feed for this post.



Tuesday Treats…

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This entry was written by Hoopenfaust, posted on May 13, 2009 at 3:43 am, filed under No Golf. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink and follow any comments with the RSS feed for this post.



Skate Par…

This entry was written by Hoopenfaust, posted on May 12, 2009 at 4:05 am, filed under Golf Etiquette, The New Face. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink and follow any comments with the RSS feed for this post.



Riot Deez…

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This entry was written by Hoopenfaust, posted on May 11, 2009 at 3:53 am, filed under Golf Etiquette, Riot Please. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink and follow any comments with the RSS feed for this post.



Sharia Lawns…

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ISLAMABAD: This year’s Pakistan Open Golf Championship will tee off at the Rawalpindi Golf Club on Thursday.

Golfers can have a wonderful time in Pakistan. Pakistan offers some spectacular Golf courses throughout the country.

Rawalpindi Golf Course: It is an Eighteen hole, challenging course. Major tournaments of the country are organized by the Rawalpindi Golf Club, located near Ayub National Park on G.T. Road, Rawalpindi. It has one of the most beautiful surroundings. Rawalpindi Golf Course was completed in 1926 by Rawalpindi Golf Club, one of the oldest golf clubs of Pakistan, founded on 2nd November 1885.

The Islamabad Golf Course: Is another 18 hole course with a picturesque background, having grass and water channels around the fair-ways as well as around the greens, and the golfer has really got to be careful in playing his shots.

Abbottabad: A popular summer resort in the midst of spacious valleys, is surrounded by green hills and located at a distance of 116 km from Rawalpindi and 217 km from Peshawar. From a tourist point of view abbottabad is noted for its verdant parks, gardens, golf course and pine covered hills.

The Kabal (Swat) Golf Course: Has a picturesque background. It is an old golf course, constructed by the Wali of Swat for recreation during holidays in the valley.

The Bhurban Golf Course: Is located at a distance of about 15 Km from Murree Hills. It is a 9 hole course at a height of 6000 ft. above sea level. With a picturesque background. It is one of the most challenging courses with small hills erected around. Major tournaments of the country are held here.

The Lahore Golf Course: Is an 18 hole very well maintained course. Most of the major tournaments of the country are held here. Leading professional golfers belong to this Golf Club.

Golfers Karachi: Is a game being taken up enthusiastically in Karachi. Click Here to EnlargeThe fact that so many excellent golf courses have been built in different parts of the city demonstrates the popularity the game enjoys. The Arabian Sea Country club has a golf course which is set amidst scenic and picturesque surroundings. It’s specially designed 18-hole gold course is rated among the best golf courses available in the country. The Karachi Golf Club is the oldest golf club of Karachi and has played a pivotal role in popularizing the game of golf.

Arabian Sea Country Club: This club consisting of Golf and Swimming Pool Complex is set amidst scenic and picturesque surroundings. It’s specially designed 18-hole golf course is rated among the best golf courses available in the country.

Karachi Golf Club: Karachi Golf Club is the oldest golf club of Karachi and has played a pivotal role in popularizing the game of golf. The original Golf Club started as a subsidiary of Sindh Club in 1888 and within three years had become an independent entity. Through a concerted effort the entire course was turfed, landscaped and planted with trees, providing the largest green area in greenery-starved city of Karachi. Presently, the 27-hole golf course is spread over 250 acres of land and is the only one of its kind in Pakistan.

The Peshawar Golf Course: Is an 18 hole course with a picturesque background having grass and water channels around the fair-ways as well as around the greens, and the Golfer has really got to be careful in planning his shots.

The Shandur Golf Course: Is the highest golf ground in the world and is located at 13000 ft. This course is infrequently used and is maintained by the Chitral Scouts.

Course marshalls adhere to god's word...

Course marshalls adhere to god's word...

This entry was written by Hoopenfaust, posted on May 8, 2009 at 4:17 am, filed under Golf Etiquette. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink and follow any comments with the RSS feed for this post.



Rules…

No spelling has been changed for this list. This is how it was spelled in 1744

    1. You must Tee your Ball within a Club’s length of the Hole;
    2. Your Tee (area from which the ball was hit) must be on the ground;
    3. You are not to change the Ball which you Strike off the Tee before that hole is played out;
    4. You are not to remove any Stones, Bones any Break Club, for the sake of playing your Ball, except of the fair Green, & that only with one Club’s length of your Ball;
    5. If your Ball come among Watter or any Wattery filth, you are at liberty to take out your Ball & bringing it behind the hazard and teeing it, you may play it with any Club and allow your adversary a stroke;
    6. If your Balls be found anywhere touching one another you are to lift the first ball till you play the last;
    7. At holeing you are to play your Ball honestly for the hole, and not to play upon your adversary’s ball, not lying in your way to the hole;
    8. If you shou’d lose your Ball, by its being taken up or any other way you are to go back to the Spot, where you struck last, & drop another Ball. And allow your adversary a Stroke for the misfortune;
    9. No man at holeing his Ball is to be allow’d to mark his way to the hole with his Club or anything else;
    10. If a Ball be stopp’d by any person, horse or dog, or anything else, the Ball so stopp’d must be played where it lyes;
    11. If you draw your Club, in order to strike & proceed so far in your stroke, as to be bringing down your Club; if then your Club shall break in any way, it is to be accounted a stroke;
    12. He whose Ball lyes farthest from the hole is obliged to play first;
    13. Neither Trench, Ditch or Dyke, made for the preservation of the Links, nor the Scholar’s Holes or the Soldier’s Lines, Shall be accounted a hazard. But the ball is to be taken out Teed and play’d with any Iron Club.

This entry was written by Hoopenfaust, posted on May 5, 2009 at 3:52 am, filed under Golf Etiquette. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink and follow any comments with the RSS feed for this post.



Infil…

We would like to congratulate Tracy Michelle Martineau on passing all tests and being selected for field operations. The Hunt Club Golf Course hasn’t had an agent emplaced since 1932.

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This entry was written by Hoopenfaust, posted on May 4, 2009 at 4:26 am, filed under Allies, Golf Etiquette. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink and follow any comments with the RSS feed for this post.